Why Valentine’s Day deserves more credit than it’s given.
When I was younger, Valentine’s Day was defined by the cards you picked to give to classmates. I remember running home with my Disney Princess pack and taping heart-shaped lollipops and handwritten messages to the back of each one, waiting in anticipation to see the assortment grow the following day. Love, at the time, was associated with sugar highs and sweets, so through the eyes of a 12-year-old, the holiday was harmless, appreciated, in fact.
Fast forward a few growth spurts later, the love of Valentine’s Day stretched its definition to romance, quickly becoming exclusively geared towards romantic relationships. This maturity of the mind in millennials, left singles feeling ostracized, and most adults in distaste of the holiday’s overpricing tactics and unnecessary efforts. Even though most stood in opposition of its existence, I still pranced around with joy gleaming from my head to my toes, as if the Bachelor had handed me his final rose. That didn’t make sense, I know. With no rose, no bachelor, and no romance, it was only logical to have joined those who dwelled in their lack of love. Yet, it is strangely because of my singleness that my love for the holiday has grown.
My freshman year in college I spent Valentine’s Day on a dinner date…alone. It was part of a class project to analyze solitude and the reactions of others around you. Arriving at my favorite Italian restaurant, I requested a table for one, and the hostess gave me a look of pure shock, absentmindedly blurting out, “Really?”, as if I had just been stood up by a man and came to wallow away my sorrows with a 12-inch pizza and house-made bread. The pity party didn’t stop there, as my waiter brought out an appetizer of bruschetta, with the words, “Don’t worry, it’s on me.” I appreciated the kind gestures of the smiling hostess and generous waiter, but the stares and whispers of parties looking my way overwhelmed my mind, as if they saw being single as something to be sorry for, rather than a normal state of life. That’s when it dawned on me: publicly displaying your relationship on the 14th of February is normal, quite encouraged, in fact. However, being single, although normal on any other day, on this day, causes feelings of downright dismay.
That’s where the real strain of society lies; we regard the ideas of romance and love as interchangeable. Love is falsely promoted as romance, and thus if romance isn’t included in the equation on the 14th, others will regard you as out of place. These aspects seem conjoining at the hip, but in reality, live separately from one another. Romance is the passion we profess in a relationship with our significant other; it’s shown through kind gestures, candle-lit dinners, chocolate hearts, and a dozen roses. Love, on the other hand, is meant for more than one person and contains more than one definition. Love is more than just romantic with a partner; it’s testing with a sibling, irreplaceable with a father, and eternal with a son or daughter.
Even if our lives contain a plethora of love, we tend to focus on the lack of romance and replace it with envy of others. We can make the excuse that’s it’s an unnecessary profession of our relationship status, but we can’t blame Valentine’s Day for the nature of its being. Sure, we could lower the prices of bears bigger than your head, or allow a hand-written card to suffice for a 5-course meal with a side of Swarovski crystals, but our calendar will always need, and deserve, a day to commemorate and advocate love. Whether we have that special someone or not, Valentine’s Day stands as a day to appreciate the love we have for all individuals who hold a special place in our hearts. It’s a day for best friends to watch a movie and eat chocolate together, for fathers to shower daughters with big teddy bears and hugs, and for kids to call their mothers to tell them “I love you,” and mean it just a little bit more.
Love is what I celebrate on Valentine’s Day, and love will always be a holiday worth celebrating.
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